I've been going to the community center gym since we moved here. I'm not usually an exercise class kind of girl; I'm just not peppy enough. But I've really been enjoying some spin classes as well a power yoga class. This morning I went, dropped Peter off in the play care area (Yay for a mini-break!), and headed to the yoga room. Here's a play-by-play. Enjoy!
9:15- regular power yoga class start time. Room is abandoned. I sit and stretch, wondering if it was canceled
9:20- in wanders my friend's mom (probably 60ish) who is visiting from out of town. She states she hasn't done yoga in years. I try to gently prepare grandma for the painful reality of power yoga, help her find a mat, etc. Still no teacher. I start putting my shoes back on to go check at the front desk.
9:25- A cute pregnant girl rushes in, states she is filling in for regular teacher. Proceeds to state that this is the first class she has ever taught, and apologizes for being late.
9:30- (by this time in a regular class we're on about our 4th cycle, and I'm starting to shake and sweat.) New girl is apologizing profusely and trying to figure out the sound equipment.
9:35- New girl finally gives up on music, class commences with me, grandma, and the new girl. We stretch. And stretch. And do more prenatal-ish stretches. New girl asks how intense we want class to be. I simply state that it is, after all, a power yoga class. She nods, but her eyes are blank.
9:40- beginning to wonder if new girl has ever actually attended a yoga class, much less a power yoga class.
9:45- enter the regular yoga class picky lady. (She's frequently making request, complaining about room temp, reprimanding people for cell phone alerts, etc.) She loudly joins for a few minutes, blows her nose, then asks about music. New girl tells her it's her first time teaching, and that she couldn't figure out the equipment. Apologizes profusely. Picky lady huffs, rolls her mat, and makes a big show of packing up her things and leaving. New girl continues to apologize profusely. I try to reassure her that picky lady is always like that (kinda) and that she's doing a fine job teaching. Grandma misheard me, replys with an awkward thanks. New girl and I smile awkwardly at each other until her baby belly pulls her off balance and she stumbles out of tree pose.
9:50- we continue a disjointed series of random balance and stretching poses. Grandma is clearly feeling out of her element as she attempts warrior three, which new girl is struggling to correctly demonstrate or describe.
9:55- I have shamelessly begun doing variations on poses in order to feel something, anything! besides the growing awkwardness. Little do I know the best is yet to come.
10:00- new girls waddles across room to turn off fan. States now we can hear her better. Silence is deafening. She goes over to help grandma correct her down dog, and kicks grandma's glasses across the room. She apologizes. Grandma says it's fine. Her face says otherwise. From between my legs I can clearly see that grandma's frames are bent, and that a lens popped out. I feel really bad for grandma, but the hilarity and awkwardness of the situation is becoming too much. I fake cough all the way through my chaturanga to hide the giggles that threaten to take control. Silence and fake coughing are deafening.
10:05- I desperately want to follow picky lady, but feel too guilty leaving new girl and grandma alone together.
10:10- new girl is clearly out of ideas. After a long string of random stretches and counter stretches (which are completely unnecessary because we haven't really worked anything) she begins final relaxation.
10:30- "Namaste and sorry for everything". I think new girl must have really needed a nap, I hope she was able to doze off during the PAINFULLY SILENT 20 minute relaxation time. I spent the time wondering how much a membership to a REAL yoga studio costs, and if there are any in the area with childcare. I wonder what grandma was thinking about.
10:35- I pick up Peter from play care, and drive home to go for a run.
Wish I'd just gone running to begin with!
Here's what I learned: In the future, I will ALWAYS hover outside the room until the regular teacher shows up. But, the good news is I'm going to be giggling about it all day! Hope it made you smile too.